The very painful ordeal

All started on 25th August (Tuesday) when I noticed a lump at the left side on my neck. Along with it came sharp pain at the whole of my left neck, from below the ears to the shoulders. I have had these sort of pain before a few years ago and the GP I consulted then said its swollen lymp nodes, which could be due to stress or an impending flu.

I brushed away the pain on Tuesday thinking that panadol and a little massage would do me good. On Wednesday morning, the pain was worst and I was a little feverish. Pop another 2 panadols and went to work as there were some urgent datelines. Half way through, realized I couldnt really open my mouth wide (as in I couldnt yawn) and bodyaches were starting. Neck pain also became worst. On the way back from work, went to Dr. Ravi, and he diagnosed it as inflamation of the lymp nodes. Gave me pain killers and antibiotics. Told me not to worry as lymp nodes could be inflammed due to many reasons. Also told me not to google as I would get scared by the information in the web. Added that if the lump and pain doesnt subside after 5 days, go back to him and we shall we some blood test.

So ok. Went home, took the pills for 2 days. No major improvements but because I was on painkillers and paracetamol, pain was kept at bay.

On Friday, we took leave to bring MiL back to Sitiawan after her being in KL for about 4+ mths. Initially Dearie wanted to cancel the trip as I was having fever the night before. However, on Friday, I felt better and told him I am fit enough for the journey. Moreover, MiL has already packed and I know she was looking forward to go back to Sitiawan. So off we went after the kids' school. Friday was still ok. I could still eat, talk and joke like normal. Pain was there but bearable. CM's sis tried to help me massage the neck and the lymps to reduce the swell but every touch was too painful.

Then Saturday came. Also the day where the whole of Malaysia went on the B3rsih 4 rally for 36hours started. Woke up with fever and bad bad bad bodyaches, headache and neck aches at BOTH sides of the neck. The medicine that Dr. Ravi prescribed clearly didnt help as it was already day 4. Dearier dragged me to seek a 2nd opinion of a good doctor in Sitiawan (Dr. Su). Relayed to Dr Su what happened and told him I have been on 3 courses of antibiotic within a month (once for sore throat, once for diarhoae and now). He looked sincerely worried. He prescribed a new set of antibiotics, painkillers, anti inflamatory and some other pills for me. Told me Dr. Ravi's medication is too mild and covers very little strain of the bacteria. So told me to take the medicine for 5 days where the pain should subside. Anyhow, whether the pain subsided or not, he advised that I should see an ENT specialist and get a thorough blood test done as 3 courses of antiotics within a mth is definately not good. So ok. With the new huge packet of medications, we went bck to Dearie's sis house. Started the medication and thank god fever subsided.

Bad thing was that the headache and neckaches were still very bad. Came back to Kajang on Sunday, was basically restless the whole day. Rested at home and religiously took all the antibiotics and painkillers. Monday came and gone. Then the unbearable happened.

At 5am on early Tuesday morning, the neckaches got very bad. Fever came back. The pain was so bad that I started vomitting. Vomitted twice within an hour. Woke Dearie up and told him I had trouble resting as every inch of my body was so painful!! He helped me rub some oil, gave me some warm water and just soothed me to nap. After fetching the kids to school, he brought me to KPJ to consult the ENT.

Dr Shahril Sanusi from KPJ Kajang, the ENT specialist saw me and said the lump at the left side of my neck is indeed big (approx 1.5cm in diameter) and it is caused by swollen lymp nodes. He could feel there were smaller lymp nodes at the right also. But he couldnt conclude what causes me the tremendous pain. Seeing that I was totally lethargic and restless and that I couldnt eat and sleep becuase of the pain, he recommended that I got admitted for drips, scans and blood tests and medication.

So off we went to the A&E to get my drips and blood samples. Thank god the nurse was very good. She took my blood and inserted the drip within barely 2 minutes and there wasnt any pain. She put me on my first packet of drips and told us to wait for an hour for the blood test results to be out.

We waited for more than 2.5hrs before the doc came and explained to us the results. Blood test shows that I tested negative of denggue but blood platelet was below the required level (150). Mine was 135. The test still did not show what caused me my pain. Asked if I felt better and I said no. Pain was still horrible and it was crazy being seated on the wheelchair for the drip within anything to support my head. At this point, I told Dearie, pls just get me a bed. The process to get admitted and get a bed took easily another 1.5 hours. This 1.5 hours felt like 15hrs!!! I couldnt stand as I was too weak, I could lie down as there wasnt any bed, I couldnt sit properly as I was stuck to the IV drips. One word >> horrible.

At abt 1+pm, I finally got warded. I climbed to the bed and slept almost immediately. The rest of the day went on without me knowing what really happened. Nurses came and took more blood... gave me injections via the drips for antibiotics and painkillers and anti inflammatory etc etc. I was in too much pain to ask what was happening. And maybe due to the medication, I was really weak and groggy. So I basically slept the whole day away.

Night time came and I got anxious. As I was alone in the 2-bedded room. I didnt want to get a single room tho my insurance entitled me to. So purposely chose a twin beded room. But from the time I was warded to 11pm where Dimi Xzan and Dearie were about to leave, there still werent anyone coming in. Finally at about 11.10pm, a couple walked in and a young malay lady was warded next to me for accute coughing and fever. Phew...

For the next 2 days, the routine was the same. Bp and temperature testing round the clock every 4 hourly, oral medications every 6 hourly, antibiotic and painkiller jabs every 12 hourly, blood sample at 5.30pm every morning. By the 2nd day, Dr Shahril still couldnt identify what was wrong. He was very honest to inform that whatever he could check and do from the ENT part has been done. So he referred me to a Physician by name of Dr. Ong. Dr. Ong is also one of the directors of the hospital and is one of the preferred doctors with LOTS of patients! We originally thought of waiting in que to see Dr Ong in his specialist clinic but was told he has SIXTY PATIENTS (in clinic and in ward) waiting! Gosh! However, he told Dr. Shahril to send me for xrays and CT scans first and also take more blood for further detailed tests. So we went bck to the ward to wait for him to come.

At abt 5+pm, Dr Ong came to my room. He said that he has seen my blood test and other reports. He said at present, it doesnt look like denggue but because my platelets fell, we needed to be careful. He could only so far conclude that its viral infection coz all other readings seem to be normal. And since its deduced to be viral, antibiotics wouldnt help much. So all they could do is to keep me comfortable and support me with anti inflamatory,sufficient fluids and help me get through this period to wait for the viral to wear off.

In the meantime, went for xray and a ct scan. Results were clear. The only weird thing was my BP shot up high over the entire week. Even when I was asleep, BP was at 150/100!! Doc said it could be due to the new environment, pain or even the medications. Told me not to worry. And on day 2, my blood platelet still fell slightly. So doc didnt discharge me for fear I might be having early signs of denggue. At the same time, pain was still there despite the painkillers, tho fever subsided. I had no apetite at all over these few days. Only could drink abit of the soup Mi made for lunch and abit of the dinner Dearie bought for us.

On day 4, blood platelet count rose back to normal. I told the doc I want to try to go off the drips and be independant and also to be discharged. He approved and told me to monitor at home and take my medications. Have to take a new liver medication coz the blood test on the 3rd day showed that the reading of the liver seems high and doc said it could be due to the medications I was taking.

Throughout these few days, the furthest I walked was probably to the room toilet. Oh! There was one night where I walked down to the ground floor lobby as Anne and Jyn wanted to visit me. I didnt want them to go to the ward as the neighbour next to me was suspected to have denggue. Just by walking down to the lobby and back up again, I got dizzy spells and headache. Once back to the room, had to KO immediately!!

Was really at wits end as to what was happening to me. Being pumped with so many different kinds of medication yet the pain didnt wear off. Di and Dearie went for prayers to seek for alternative help as well. Fong suggested urut as my description sounded like I have wind in my body. Gave me her urut lady contact from TTDI whom I  contacted for a home massage over the weekend (will talk about this in the next post).

So ok. Finally got discharged. Felt good to be able to finally leave the hospital after so many days there. How I feel now that I am on my own bed:
- simple things like being able to spend a night in our own room with our loved ones are often taken for granted. I lie down on my bed looking at Dearie, Anne and Jyn and realize how lucky I am to be able to come home to such wonderful people
- family is everything. Dearie has been ultra supportive the WHOLE time.. even b4 the hospital episode. He would massage for me, pamper me, bring me food, etc. When I had to be in hospital, he basically discarded his work (which I know is aplenty) and accompanied me the whole time. Help my hands the whole time, giving mental support and encouragement, buying me food that he thinks would make me happier, n basically just being there for me ALL the time). He ate his meals with me in the hospital, bathe in the hospital, napped in the hospital when he was too tired and worked at the hospital when datelines were too tight. N the best was he took care of the 2 little ones all by himself over that few nights. That part I know is not easy. Seeing his dark circles below his eyes, I cant help it but feel so much heartache and feel like slapping myself for putting him through this ordeal.
- as for dimi and xzan, needless to say, they were all around me all the time, maybe not physically, but definately mentally. Mi prepared lunch for me everyday and Di delivered them. It must have been very hectic for them coz Mi had to cook and care for the kids but at the same time cook for me. Di on the other hand had to fetch both kids from school, buy coconut water for me, fetch me lunch and rush home for tuition.. all within 1 afternoon.. so much so that he told us later that he got into a minor accident by reversing lightly onto another car as his mind was so worried abt me! As for Xzan, despite her meeting schedules and her sore throat, she still came visiting me, accompanied me after Dearie left, massaged my neck and best of all, kept the kids entertained when I was away.
- and the kids... their every night sentence is enough to make me wanna get well, ie "mommy, when r u coming home?" :~(  on one of the nights when Jyn came to visit, he silently cried when he hugged me goodbye..that was when he realised I couldnt follow him home. My heart broke into a thousand pieces seeing his silent tears.
- good health is how u show love to ourself and others. U wanna love someone? Start by being healthy. Health is so so very important.. without it, nothing goes.
- finally, I thank God I am home now with my loved ones.  Pray that the pain will go away soon and all will be back to normal in no time.